whizbangs | ic contact

[she's still pissed, but the kid comes first]

Why, did something happen?

[ a lot of somethings, he wants to say. thinks it immensely unfair, cruel, to keep the worst of it from her.

but he does it anyway. ]

we were roughhousing! i might have busted a few!

[ ... well, it's more or less the truth ]

For god's sake sakamoto
You may be an idiot but still I expect you to know better

neither the vigor of youth nor idiot can be contained when adrenaline sings its sweet song carolsan
one more question

What

does the name worick mean anything 2 u?

I've seen him around
He wears an eyepatch, jumped out of a cake once
Why?

[ god dont remind him of the cake ]

i know the one
just curious is all
cakejumping can be a prolific business u kno
i was wondering if he could be hired for anything else besides hapless cakes

[she's not sure if she buys "just curious", but how much more forthcoming is he likely to be than that?

and that suspicion hits home, suddenly, hard: she doesn't trust him anymore.]

I don't know why you're coming to me with this
Did you miss the part where I'm pissed at you
Because you royally fucked up

i know
just thought id ask
ill leave you be

[ it's hard, sometimes, remembering when he's futzed up on something, remembering if this bridge is burned or if it was that one.

memory of her anger is fresh still.

it would have been a good companionship. the thought still stings. ]

[wait, her gut tells her to say, but she's too proud for that, too furious still. too hurt, and it hurts more to admit to it.

still, there's something she needs to ask. wait, she says, but what she types is--]

I haven't seen the kid in a while

hes been around
busy guy

[ ten seconds, thirty, before: ]

look out for him

I try

[and she has to stop for a second, hold a fist to her mouth and stare hard as steel at the wall, because--

trying isn't good enough]

[a long, long minute passes, and then it all comes out in a rush, her thumbs tripping over themselves]

I tried to back off he still doesnt trust me\
He wont tell me anythng
I feel like nobody will what th e hell am i doing wrong

its nothing youve done

[ give it a minute. just a minute, while he thinks furious and fast and tired ]

have you ever seen a battlefield
have you ever seen kids in a war
or the ones whove survived it
have you ever seen dogs and cats in the street
the kind who never want to come close bc of how much theyve been kicked in life
and looked on like theyre nothing
where survival is priority over whatever we think we know
comfortable in our sunny cities and nice homes
where safety is a right not a privilege

I've seen it
I know
Life broke him
It broke me too but I got up again, I just want to show him that he can get up again
But I take al lthe wrong turns and it ends up worse

hope
its a nice idea and a pretty dream
kids like him have no time for it
he wont rely on us carol, not you or me or anyone else
even if hes young
maybe too young
self sufficiency is important to him and his own
its like feeding wild dogs
it isnt always going to turn out pretty
but the message gets across eventually

I cant just sit here

I cant keep watching him

He gets so quiet

It's killing me

[but this is not about what it's doing to her, this is about badou. about what he needs.

this is not about the fact that she can't help him and that feels like her fault, not his, not that of the world he lived in. she can't fight the fourteen years of his life that are behind him, and it feels like failing him.]

I need
Can you

[help, somehow. do something. it's all too much. she doesn't finish the text but sends it anyway, hopes he'll understand.]

[ this, in the end, is the greatest failing of 'heroes'. not everything could be saved. not everything could be helped or salvaged.

he'd learned, a long time ago, what to let go of and what was a necessary sacrifice. ]

where

The house
Its unlocked

[and she drops the phone beside her on the couch and buries her face in her hands and breathes. she won't cry, carol doesn't cry, not even when ruin is at the gates and the world is ending around her.

but this feels different. this time she's powerless, and it's beating her down down down]

ok

[ it's a start. even if she throws him out the minute he steps over the threshold, it's still something.

now all he'd have to do is explain away the state of his face.

he heads out, and starts up the car. ]

[her hands are clenched white-knuckled, scrunched onto the knees of her jeans, and it's rough and uncomfortable and she's stressed herself into a headache and she needs--

jess.

she could have asked steve, should have asked steve, but he just got here and he doesn't know her, he's not her steve, she can't throw all this at him.

shouldn't be throwing all this at sakamoto, either, but it went from her aching mind (heart) to the phone totally without her leave to do so, and he said okay.

stupid smiling understanding idiot.

the squeal of tires won't make her look up, she knows who it is. (although the sound of retching might be kind of a surprise)]

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

composed, unsent

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

Re: text

action i guess now