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[oh, and peep he does.

hiruma saw her coming from a mile away — he wasn't joking about the eyes he's installed around the neighbourhood. but like a civilized human being (and not at all smirking like he won the fucking lottery), he pulls the door open wide, eyes creasing.]

Oh, what a pleasant surprise; Miss Danvers, and her chupacabra!

[she doesn't say anything, just smiles with all of the cloying honey-sweetness she can muster

and flings the cat

claws-first

at his face.]

[SWEET JESUS, CATS—

there's a pitched exclamation as chewie's claws make first contact, but nothing more, even as the hooked nails rake down his chin, ear, scalp, and eyebrow. long, red, angry streaks bead with the blood of the puttytat's worst nemesis.]

[—and hiruma only grabs it by the scruff of the neck when it has mounted onto his blond mop of hair.

with a strong kick, the door swings shut in carol's face, and he turns, writhing cat in hand, stomping straight down the hall.]

OH, WHAT A FILTHY RUG. MAYBE CHLORINE WILL HELP DOUSE THE STENCH!

[the patio door slaps open.]

[her mirth is short-lived as, with a sinking feeling of dread in her heart, carol realises she has made a huge mistake.

the front door crashes back open and she's through the house like a shot, battle cry ringing out in her wake--]

HIRUMAAAAAAAA--!

[the minute she catches sight of that skinny back she'll be aiming for it in a fierce, angry tackle.]

[forceful shout heard at the last second, hiruma's body immediately buckles forward, like someone swung a sack of bricks at his lower back.

his fingers are prized open with a delayed reaction, but the cat

is pitched

into the air

as hiruma's face slaps the still water of the pool, thanks to his toe catching on the ladder's handlebar.

and ~~jill~~ carol came tumbling after.]

[the terrified yowling carries for all of five seconds, before carol meets the pool headfirst and all outside noise is shut out.

water fills her lungs and she grabs at whatever part of hiruma she can reach, using him to push herself to the surface, gasping and spluttering and looking like a mercilessly drowned rat.

she flails an arm out for the ladder, hacking up chlorine and calling out for the damn cat.]

Chewie! [cough cough--] Chewie!

[a few beats later, hiruma breaks, spitting a mouthful to the side, water streaming from the tip of his too-sharp nose.

his hair clings slickly to his head as he treads (pool's full of drowned rats), slapping at his forehead to pull the soggy strands out of his eyes.]

Cats can swim, you fucking spaz, jesus christ!

[he laughs, and he laughs hard, the balls of his feet meeting the bottom when he's close enough to the shallow end to walk the rest of the way. sure enough the cats batting at the water looking every bit as miserable as carol; like owner like pet, hiruma muses.

and he's content enough, even fully dressed, to lean back and float there.]

Yo, Danvers, might need a new shirt — yours looks a little threadbare!

[the laughs never stop.]

[she's up the ladder and out of the pool and realising it at the same second he mentions it -- shit. carol flushes red with anger (definitely just anger) and folds her arms over her front, glaring at hiruma hot enough to burn.

it's a small mercy that at least her jeans aren't as clingy.]

I'll show you threadbare in a minute, you little--

[but she's interrupted by a yowling, as chewie chooses that moment to escape the water herself, rocketing toward the back fence, clawing her way up and over. and she's gone.]

God dammit!

[and the glare is back on the pointy-eared idiot, except this time it clearly says you had better find my cat if you don't wanna die today.]

Some hero you are — can't even save a water-logged pussy!

[it does push him into action though. hiruma feels a little sorry for chewie, owing the cat at the very least a mosey around the yard, but he feels more sorry for his clothing. good way to air dry, he guesses, as he shakes out his hair like a sopping wet dog.

grabbing the handles of the ladder, foot securing him a spot on the second rung, hiruma hauls himself up and out, too thankful it's summer.

a cursory glance down at the black v-neck that's tight enough to be a second skin, and his chafing motherfucking pants, he drips over to carol. all toothy smirk as he passes by, chin high.]

Oh, and, by the by? You owe me twenty bucks.

[don't look, carol, don't even look -- wait.]

That's what this was about?

[and she whips around to him, all furious disbelief.]

You're such an ass.

[speaking of, he's barely got one, which makes this situation far from even. damn.]

[...]

[oh.]

Yo, cat's not down there, Danvers!

[ajskldjskldJASKLDJSAKL]

Oh like you're one to even talk about copping an eyeful, you little perv!

[Joel cannot ignore the shaved, half-drowned cat he found wandering the streets. This cat has seen some shit. He sorta recognizes this cat, even with all the missing fur. So he picks it up and he tentatively makes his way into the backyard that it just escaped from.

See Joel stroll in on this scene with the cat in his arms and immediately feel the urge to stroll right back out. That sure was Carol and some dude and something very weird going on in the pool.

Shit. Now he has to speak.]

Uh, I found this. I can come back later.

Why, I never—

[hiruma gasps, taking falsified offence to her accusation, fingers in front of his mouth; it's all cut short very quickly when he realizes they have a guest.

...]

[his eyes thin.]

Look what the cat dragged in, ho? Good afternoon, stranger!

[peeking over his shoulder at carol, all barbed wire smirk.]

Your timing's just swell, you see, that swampy marsh of a furball is Miss Danvers'. She's been waiting for this a long time!

[oh for the love of god.

oh for the love of god.

her arms tighten around herself at the sight of joel, flush deepening to a frankly humiliating shade. as if it wasn't bad enough having the little gremlin here for this, now someone she actually likes has come to witness it too.

and he thinks something is going on jesus christ--]

Edited 2013-08-29 02:23 (UTC)

[--and then hiruma has to open his pointy yap.

modesty shoved aside, she stomps over to him and buries a hand in the front of his soaking wet shirt, face thunderous.]

I'm gonna drown you.

[For his age, Joel has excellent hearing. Sharpened senses from apocalypse living. He'd walked in at just the right time to catch something about little pervs copping eyefuls and Carol is-- well, Carol is certainly in a state. If it wasn't for the weird string of words that the boy directs at him now, he'd be averting his eyes.

But those words. Hiruma receives a long stare that amounts to I don't know what the fuck it is you are trying to say. Joel's eyes follow the scene when it advances to the level of making threats about drowning, but he's no less confused.

The cat in his arms lets out a pathetic mewl. Me too, cat.]

Is this... your friend? [To Carol. Now's the time to make it worse.] Should I leave you two alone?

[his eyes dart from joel to carol, shirt hiking when the superhero grabs a fistful.

arms remain lead at his sides, but his expression is feather-light, eyebrows raised, kind smile taking the wheel.]

Friends? No, no, sir...

[pat-patting the hand under his chin, hiruma tries to dislodge her with a little push of her fingers, attempt to prize her out of his personal space bubble proving rather futile.]

The only reason why she's here is because she makes poor bets she can't handle. Twenty dollars she could have spent on beneficial things. Like a comic book or three. Check out how real heroes present themselves.

[peeking over to the very confused, much older man, the devil laughs with delight.]

She's very violent, this one.

[a dangerously sugary-sweet smile is directed at joel, as carol's grip on hiruma only tightens despite his best efforts.]

Joel, say hello to Hiruma. He's one of our team surveillance buddies.

[and then she levels a smirk on the pointy-eared bastard himself, fit to match any he's ever thrown at her. they do look a sight, she supposes, like a pair of drowning victims already, but she'll be damned if she's not gonna make it even worse for him.

still smirking, she starts manhandling him back over to the pool's edge.]

And now, say goodbye to Hiruma!

[because she sure is gonna try and throw him right back in.]

[Eyebrow arching high up. This was one of their recon team members? Even while he insults Carol and laughs, Joel can't help but think that something's going on underneath the surface of this bizarre interaction.]

You might be upset later if you really do drown your boyfriend, Carol.

[It looks like flirting, okay. It looks and sounds like flirting to him, since he's never seen them interact before. A straight-laced 50-year-old man just has to call it like it is.]

The pleasure's — entirely mine, Mister Bunyan!

[heels slowing him, the thick blood of his american football training pounding through his veins at the moment of push from carol, hiruma's hands find her shoulders and he stops at the very lip of the pool.]

Now if you'd kindly get your ox off of me, I could—

[his struggle was clear, but joel's assumption catches him by surprise, almost throwing him off his game. so much so that his poker face slowly devolves into mild shock.

before he starts laughing.

and laughing.]

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1/2 makin your life miserable

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